I’m going to get real today, body image real. This is mostly a blog about women and the body image issues we face but I kind of go a little all over the place so bear with me!
What is the ideal body? Is it curvy and tan like Kim K or is it fit and slim like Cameron Diaz? Does this ideal body have a thigh gap or does it have muscular thick legs with a round booty? Is it tall, is it short, is it pear shaped, is it bootylicious?
There is no ideal body. Some may have a preference but there is no one size fits all body type that pleases the masses. So if this is true, why do we continue to scrutinize ourselves every moment of the day? If we have big boobs, we want small ones. If we are lean we want curves. If we are pale we want to be tan. If we have curly hair we want it straightened. If we are short we want to be tall.
If there is no “ideal body” then why don’t we learn to love and appreciate the one that we have?
We can all blame social media, celebrities, television and movies but let’s be real it’s not them. We are the problem. Before you freak out and say that men have objectified us for centuries or that the media sexualizes certain body types and blah blah blah please think about what I am about to say.
When it comes down to it, everything we feel about our body and our looks is in our own minds. We shape how we feel about our muffin top, our cankles, and our rolls. We put those words into our heads and we make ourselves feel miserable. We are the ones that sit on Instagram or Facebook for hours pining after the “perfect” bodies that we all follow. We are the ones that say we wished we looked like this girl or had the confidence of that woman or had lips like that celebrity.
Now I will be truthful, I am so guilty. I have always wanted what my genetics never gave me; curly hair, tan skin, curves and let’s be honest, bigger boobs. But I will tell you that years of complaining and hating my body did not do me one ounce of good. It only made me more insecure and even jealous of those around me. Instead of learning to embrace my body I tried to do everything to change it. Now if you want to be healthy, exercise, eat right and change for those reasons, that’s awesome and you totally should. That is not the kind of change that I am talking about. I am talking about genetics. The things that your genes tell your body to do. This girl shall have brown hair, she will be 5’7” with no curves and a flat chest. These are things that we cannot change.
A mirror can be a useful object or a dangerous tool. We can stare into it day after day pinching, pulling, squeezing and critiquing every little part of our bodies. But what does this accomplish? Nothing. We haven’t improved our self-esteem, we haven’t changed our attitude and we definitely have not done ourselves a favor. We have just made the situation worse.
Instead of tearing yourself down every day, think about the qualities that you have that you are proud of like your patience or your loyalty or your determination. Think about your physical characteristics that others might yearn for like your curves or your skin tone or your legs. Instead of dwelling on the negatives, focus on the parts of you that you do love. When you look in the mirror smile and be proud of how hard you have worked to become the woman that you are today. Because I am sure that it wasn’t an easy journey. And it’s ok to share your insecurities with others but don’t look for a pity party. That just drags you down and makes others feel even worse about their insecurities. So talk about it but don’t dwell on it. Share your feelings but don’t burden others with your own anxieties because everyone has something that they are worried about too.
So I don’t know about you, but I am TIRED. I am tired of wanting to look like someone else and desperately trying to be someone that I will never be. It’s time to change and stop blaming others for how we feel about our bodies but take responsibility and stop this cycle. I promise that I will try if you will too. So PLEASE learn to love you; your body, your mind, and your journey. You’ll be surprised how much your self-love will help others to love themselves just a little bit more too.
In Health & Happiness
Kristen